December 2011
wish i could give feedback on every page ever made...
it’d be the best anger management therapy associated with technological rage. so many keyboards would die. it’d be so great.
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I called my dog “sir” at 8 am this morning.
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and finally, in 2012, I will use the Internet for...
thank you, and good day!
also, in 2012
I’ll get out of bed before talking to people.
2012: the year my head explodes
I’m barely online at all if ever. but it’s amazing how within ten minutes of waking up I can see enough shit to cause a storm of said shit to follow and potentially ruin the rest of my year/beginning of next.
so here’s to my new years resolution. my two-part resolution, one which has been the same for the past 4 years, and a new one:
1. don’t get any parking tickets...
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head tilts
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a day in the life, part 3
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a day in the life, part 2
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a day in the life, part 1
people suck
not just mean people, though they suck big fat balls, but mostly, all people. stupid people, cruel people, people who think they’re b.o. don’t stink, people who can’t spell the word integrity let alone comprehend it, people who don’t like dogs, people who like mushrooms on pizza, people who drive the speed limit in the left lane, people who blow their noses in public (have...
andrew: what are you drinking?
me: whiskey and kill yourself.
I thought it was a drive by… but it was Santa.
– I wish I were joking.
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Global Orgasm Day →
Global Orgasm Day, also known as GORG, was an action originally scheduled for 22 December 2006 to coincide with the end of solstice. The idea was for participants throughout the world to have an orgasm during this one day while thinking about peace in order to emit positive energy to Earth.
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my family does the whole Christmas card picture thing. every year. every year forever, and since I was born, I’ve been in it. I think I got out of it one year, maybe, but I was drunk a lot that year so I wouldn’t really know either way.
anyway, right now I’m watching every Parks & Rec ever because I missed seasons 2 and 3 or something like that, and I was looking at the...
BEST OF 2011: TOP 5 ADAM SCOTT MOMENTS →
my boyfriend sends me links to things involving Adam Scott.
But you’re wearing a Tool t-shirt so your opinion is invalid.
– Andy Falkous (via rottinghaus)
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I always think they’re cute—but the problem is that they always have B.O. One of...
– John Waters on the Occupy Wall Street protesters
[via] (via dietcock)
I wonder if porn stars ever turn to each other...
and ask, “hey, was that real?”
"i can't hear the tv while i'm eating crunchy... →
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young adult. spoilers, i guess, but whatever
I finally figured out my feelings re: Young Adult. It happened at 3AM last night. I was eager to see it because I love Charlize Theron, and I like people who have problems seemingly more fucked than mine, because don’t lie to yourselves — you fucking do, too.
When I walked out of the theater, my face probably looked something like upset, angry, concerned, or all. I did not know how I felt...
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You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by...
– Audrey Hepburn
I love Audrey Hepburn, because hi, I’m a girl, I had an orange cat, and my ovaries function to their max potential. I also love Nudawn, but that’s not really due to my ovaries, or maybe it is. point is this post isn’t meant to take a dig at either, in case some of...
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You guys, I can't even handle that Steven...
Because she actually kind of looks like a horse.
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How can somebody be a “cat person?” Have you ever met a dog?
– @ERlC_CARTMAN. My favorite thing to ever come out of South Park without actually coming out of South Park.
Coke Talk: Coke Talk of the Year →
coketalk:
I’ve decided that I’m officially done living in Hollywood. I haven’t picked which sunny corner of Los Angeles will be my new stomping ground, but then again, it was never about my zip code. When I say I’m done with Hollywood, what I really mean to say is, I’m done being a kid.
Hollywood was always a sandbox filled with glitter and the expensive toys of other children. This was the...