February 2011
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"life is short. and dancing is so much fun." →
— Anne Marsen
Also, Eggroll said this about New York, which I’ve never been to yet want to move to, but not forever because I like having a heart:
This video reminds me why I was happy to leave New York City. There is a crazy fun girl dancing like a lunatic running through this ferry while someone films it, and 9 out of the 10 people in the background don’t look or crack a smile. ...
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Watchmolls:
tumblaire:
Happy 2011 b☆t☆☆es!
Step your nail game up!
Blaire made this video of her whole year in fly nailz. Amazing!
Since I’ve been not-online so much, Sara has been keeping the nail blog updated. Blaire is truly inspirational to me, and after watching this, you’ll be inspired to. Seriously. Take a clue because there’s mad plenty of ‘em here to go around.
January 2011
i can't stop anne hathawaying →
Did you know
that when I was 7 years old I was a girl scout and I sold cookies to people outside of Lucky’s Supermarket in Los Feliz (now known as Alberston’s), and one day Lily Tomlin got two boxes of Samoas from me?
I know. My life is amazing.
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“I tried to make you a diamond, but it turned into a spade. Not even a spade but...”
– Malysa (via 6od)
This is from 2 years ago. I would’ve forgotten about it had it not been for the cool psychopath who has read ever single one of my posts and gone to pages I’m pretty sure never existed (thanks, analytics!) and has been sitting in my drafts ever since.
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“1 out of 5 relationships start online. 4 out of five of those relationships end...”
– (via lesbianstepbrothers)
This is why you I don’t date people from the internet.
My friend Jake is a shitty person and he made a tumblr and it’s called Lesbian Step Brothers. I love him.
What Oscar Nomination Day Is Like When Your... →
“Why not wear mismatching shoes? Who says we can’t? I was just having fun. For...”
– Helena Bonham Carter on her Golden Globes outfit. (via skinnyfat)
I love actresses who clearly haven’t hired a stylist. Even if they look dreadful or crazy, at least they took a motherfucking risk! The rise of the Stylist-to-the-Stars is the whole reason award shows aren’t as fun to watch as they...
caseydonahue asked: YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH !!!! **** $$$$
"why do [i] even bother?"
because if i didn’t, i’d be just as bad as all the other pretentious self-serving assholes out there. because i don’t think everything happens for a reason and things aren’t worth their surface value. i bother because i give so many fucks and if i didn’t, i might as well be dead. how many people do you disregard based off some conclusion you prematurely came to? how...
Maybe I’m Amazed — Paul McCartney
rottinghaus asked: your mistake was not charging them the fee of one half-dead bird per photograph. they are much more stoic and staid when they're paying for a sitting.
p.s. -- remember when i said i was trying to make it look like a civil war tintype because i'm a pretentious asshole?
p.p.s. -- i redacted a very funny terry richardson joke that i'm still laughing...
p.s. -- remember when i said i was trying to make it look like a civil war tintype because i'm a pretentious asshole?
p.p.s. -- i redacted a very funny terry richardson joke that i'm still laughing...
Hey you. Mac user. Press shift + alt + volume up.
kiamatthews:
Mind Blown.
Thanks Reddit.
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“It sounds like a stereo farting.”
– Jen on Kelis’ “Milkshake” (via rottinghaus)
I have never liked that song. I think it’s awful and annoying. Sorry, general public. Sorry I don’t find synthesized gas appealing. Maybe it’s the lactose intolerance.
blind items, for example
incessantly posting things without clearly stating who or what it’s regarding has unfortunately become accepted as a less vile and almost “tasteful” form of shit-talking someone, particularly on the Internet. in reality, all it does is safeguard that person to an extent where they’re unfortunately allowed to regurgitate their unhealthy, demented thoughts onto a public...
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that is something i would say →
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“when you get the phone back, tie it to a brick and throw it through the apple...”
– Mike Karnell
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A: The mailman, the old dude next door, and the...
Q: Who has seen you in your underwear today?
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Oh... Oh, okay. →
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Watchcoketalk:
“…people wanna fuck me.”
I’m so glad Louie got divorced. Now that he’s the middle-aged single guy, we get gems like this.
“Get the oil off your tits and study for fuck’s sake.”
horrible internet-related "idea"
Step 1: Communicate with everyone using nothing but retweets.
Step 2: Die alone.
my mother walks into my room with a compass
My Mom: North... No. North...
Me: What are you doing?
My Mom: I'm trying to show you where North is.
Me: ...okay.
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The most rewarding kind of Right.
There are people who like to judge things immediately. Whether they had one not-that-bad experience, or they’re just the kind of asshole who judges from afar, almost all of the fucking time — they’re horribly wrong.
It’s like with first impressions, the most important one, right? Fuck you. If you meet me for 5 minutes and judge me based solely off that, you probably have a small...
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You guys.
I can’t find my cell phone.
I cannot find the cell phone that I have been using for only 2 weeks.
I might be the worst person alive. Might.
I last had it in the house. That’s all I know.
But I’ve been looking for it for a while.
Also, I think it’s on “Ignore All”. So calling does NOTHING.
And all my alerts are on mute.
I’ve been really busy...
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and on this day i will set fire to los angeles →
that way, they won’t notice the cigarette in my hand!
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OKAY. OKAY. HERE WE GO.
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Sometimes you just need to scream shit out, ya...
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Valentine's Day
tomyhusband:
I don’t care. No, really. It’s a bullshit Hallmark holiday. There’s no need for candy, flowers, or anything cheesy. Just make me cum that night.
I did not write this one, but I was going to write one similar.
I’ve been not-single for three Valentine’s Days, I think. Not consecutively. I mean, over the course of my 24 years of life (I know, I’m 25 but I’m...